dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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