I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
