She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize