I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just gift wrapped bread.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
