just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
