apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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