Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
