i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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