I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
