how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize