Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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