Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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