she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
