I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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