Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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