Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize