Cold hands, warm shart.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
