You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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