2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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