I think my fart just growled at me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize