so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize