I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
