Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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