just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
