I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
