Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
