hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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