absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
