Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
