The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
