this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
