i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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