My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
