You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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