dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
