His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
