coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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