Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
