OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
