fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
