just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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