Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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