its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
