You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
should my penis look like a turkey
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
