do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
