I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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