I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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