I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
