yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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