Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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