One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize