Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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