i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
