paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
