also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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