Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
