You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
