you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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