was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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