pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
