I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
