i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
wow bdsm is so cute
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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